Cock tail

“A journey from pain to pleasure”

I can now appreciate how my own pain lust is linked to blocking other pain. It’s a drug of choice and I have to decide whether I can continue to court the attention of those who might deliver this drug or whether I move to love and life lived out of the shadows. I remember how much pleasure I felt just being with one person for half a day. Conversation and a looking at beauty, together make for huge pleasure. I can see beauty around me and enjoy looking, knowing that I can flirt with me eyes or even record it with my camera. Loving beauty can be something to celebrate. So where does this get me? Making peace with my own situation and being ok with looking. Sometimes I’ve felt so guilty about sex and desire, thanks to a parent who made me fear mortal sin!Sex and guilt, escape to pain. What a bloody cocktail hey!

#bdsm #spanking #pleasureandpain #fetish #crossdressing #submissiveplay #sissy

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