Permission to cross dress

I feel a conflict between how I am seen when I choose to cross dress and the reactions of men who court sexual contact as opposed to being interested in dominating me physically and mentally. I can submit to any gender or none but, sexually, I'm drawn to women who have my heart and my head.
Finding the right dominant, while I'm in a relationship with a supportive partner who understands me, is hard.
I'd imagined a complete relationship, one where no other was necessary but I know that that was a naive hope, not impossible, but such an ask that chasing this would make me ill.
Do any of you lovely people in this wonderful group have any advice to offer?


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