Oh my soul, I feel such need, I am so desirous for a beating and that ritual that accompanies the act.
Anticipating the presentation of myself to another and standing, waiting to be told to remove my trousers, anticipating the command to lower myself, literally and submissively, floods my body with lust.
Wanting that slice of wood through air and lamenting its absence, I satisfy myself with images and words that replace the reality of the bite of cane into flesh. Now, I consider when and how that act will be accommodated within my days again. I am in a relationship with someone I love, but that act is something she can not give. She is gentle, loving and she is at ease in love and compassion. Now, I ask her to help me satisfy this need and I wonder whether I ask too much.