Its been three weeks since my last session. Some panic and uncertainty followed the closure of therapy. In the immediate aftermath, some of my last words and conclusions became resolutions by which I stood to succeed or fail.
Today, I took the well worn path towards my source of comfort. The quest for that release had become so wearing. The anxiety, about where I might find it, was living in my muscles and nerves. An act of submission, with two who cared nothing for my head, my future or my past, has calmed me again. Pain followed by orgasm returned me to a state of grief and emptiness but quiet.
Somehow, that state I have masked for so long needs to be explored. Its time to stop running from the ghosts of my past, the spirits that I hide from.