I am 48, I am someone who has struggled with my adult identity. My child; my younger self, was damaged by domestic turbulence and as an adult, I have carried my child with me, living to protect him. The fear I carried has shaped my response to the individuals around me Within this blog, I explore… Continue reading Introducing Submission
“A journey from pain to pleasure” I can now appreciate how my own pain lust is linked to blocking other pain. It’s a drug of choice and I have to decide whether I can continue to court the attention of those who might deliver this drug or whether I move to love and life lived… Continue reading Cock tail
My poor little tight hole has gone too long without being plugged! Being stretched and filled makes me feel so submissive. So, here I am again frantically seeking a dominant to take me to those places I crave. Being in a vanilla relationship, I am open about my wants, but I feel I am restricted… Continue reading Being filled
Susie is part of me and when I write fiction, it is often derived from being her. Here is an example…. Susie sits on her hands, her pale thighs clamped, securely, together as she bites her lip and cranes her slender neck towards the window. “Caught playing” The words reel around her head as her… Continue reading Being Susie
While born to be submissive, to feel a longing to be under his or her control, one or two virtues lie intact. Are my prudish virtues, in-fact, my undoing? To this day, I have not been fucked by a man and I have not given my mouth to the service of a cock. Fear of… Continue reading To be a virgin
I feel a conflict between how I am seen when I choose to cross dress and the reactions of men who court sexual contact as opposed to being interested in dominating me physically and mentally. I can submit to any gender or none but, sexually, I'm drawn to women who have my heart and my… Continue reading Permission to cross dress
Summer simmers and he becomes quiet within himself again. Last night, I broke my silence and words tumbled from my mind into online flirts, my lust open and raw, my hand drawn to epxress my own desire and need, I came alone. What brought me back was chance, being alone, freedom. In its power over… Continue reading Too long, too long. He returns to lust and flirtation.
Allowing this makes me a masochist. Enjoying the after effects, the residual pain, reminds of the moment of escape, where pain and the thrill of submission has removed me from everything else. These scars I sought. These scars allow me to feel pain and to enjoy submitting to another. Yes, this is addictive but am… Continue reading Pain threshold, revealing my scars.